Just a phone call away
by Minne-My
Summary: Bernie has met Serena before. Just not where she expected


_She'd never admit to anyone about the phone call she made that Christmas. As long as nobody saw her phone bill, which they hadn't. She'd been in a muddle. Things didn't make sense to her and the more normal everyone else seemed around her, the more she felt lost and on edge. She hesitantly made the call. She'd never have done this face to face with anyone. She collapsed on her front, one hand propping up her head and the other clutching the pillow the phone lay on, listening to the stranger's voice while tears and desire battled in the threat to overwhelm her. The intensity of her pleading and soft anguished cries as she poured out her secret as she imagined this woman touching her, finally sliding her hand down to where she wanted and finding herself soaking wet. Taking the encouragement to rub herself to a quick climax, more powerful than she'd ever felt before. She wondered if she was a masochist and that's why things had never worked out for her. She didn't want that, she wanted to be normal. The kind and understanding stranger wished her goodbye and although her heart was hurting, she'd felt relief._

 _She vowed she'd never do it again and she never did._

Lots of people had that kind of voice. It was a very attractive one. Bernie relaxed and listened to the sound of Serena's voice every shift they had together. It had reminded her of…something from a long time ago but she rarely thought of that now.

In the end, Bernie was the one who'd given herself away. She'd honked that tremendous goose laugh of hers that irritated her ex-husband to no end and Serena had recognised it. She hadn't thought about those days of sex work very much but Bernie's laugh had stirred a memory. She stared at her until she'd stopped.

'What?' Bernie felt self-conscious.

'Nothing. I'm trying to think of more ways to make you laugh.'

'Oh.' Bernie looked uncomfortable. Not many people liked her laugh that much and she hadn't had much of a chance to really let go for a while. Serena smiled at her and carried on as normal but Bernie couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed between them.

Serena took her time in mulling it over. Finally she had decided where she'd heard that laugh before but didn't know how to approach the subject. She let it go because it wasn't her business anymore. Nobody wanted to be judged or reminded of what they did in their spare time.

It took a week for Bernie to crack.

'Sorry, Serena, I feel like there's this kind of atmosphere in the office and I want to know if you feel that way too.'

Serena turned around and raised her eyebrows at the implication.

'What kind of atmosphere?'

'It was the way you looked at me last week, after you told me about the vicar who touched you up mid examination. The one that drew a mural of you in the chapel.'

'I made you laugh.'

'You said that you were thinking of ways to make me laugh.'

'I like it when you laugh.'

'But it seemed like…there was something else.'

Since Bernie had brought it up, Serena thought she may as well say it.

'I was trying to figure out if I had heard it before. Outside of work.'

'We've never met before now.'

'That's what I thought. I would have remembered otherwise.'

Bernie felt flattered that Serena thought she was that memorable.

'So how did you come to that conclusion?'

Serena considered what to say to her. With every second ticking by, the air seemed heavier. She chose her words deliberately.

'Did you get on alright with her?'

'Who?'

Bernie didn't get it.

'The woman you talked about.'

Bernie stared at her incomprehensibly.

'If I recall correctly, it was about ten years ago.'

What was Bernie doing ten years ago? With what woman? Her mind spooled back and wondered how Serena knew about Diane. When she finally realised what she was getting at, she yelped with horror and clapped her hands over her mouth. There was only one way that she knew. Bernie had told her. She'd told her on the phone on that chat line all those years ago. She'd never spoken of it again, especially when Diane had left soon after she'd ended an affair with a married man. She'd heard of her death a year later, on the railways tracks in the countryside. Bernie had never wanted to cause trouble with that silly crush and had said nothing. She'd thought it had been a one-time thing. Her marriage to Marcus wasn't exactly sparky but they'd muddled along somehow. There was never another woman who had ignited that in her, just thoughts flowing through her mind with no exact purpose. Until Alex. Then she realised that it wasn't a one-off, that it was real and that it explained a few things about herself and her marriage.

'It was you!'

'I made you laugh once. In that conversation.'

Bernie remembered. The woman on the end of the phone was a wonderful talker, gently coaxing out information from her that mattered, nothing incriminating. Just enough to figure out what made her tick.

'I liked your laugh then and I like it still now' Serena told her softly. Her smile was understanding.

'I didn't manage to speak to her more than once after that' Bernie blurted out. She told Serena about what had happened to Diane Lloyd, how she thought that she'd never feel like that about another woman again and how wrong she'd been. Serena had heard about Alex on the grapevine but opted to shut her mouth about it. She knew about how it felt to be cheated on but couldn't allow herself to judge when she had met all sorts of people who had rung her up all those years ago.

'If the board knew about this, I would be under investigation and possibly suspended. My reputation would be ruined' she warned.

'Oh! Did you think I was going to tell anyone? I couldn't even believe I did it and I sure as hell wasn't going to tell anyone else what I'd done' said Bernie defensively.

'I liked talking to you. Didn't always, in my job.'

'Why did you do it?'

Bernie never would have had the nerve. Many people had joked that Serena had the perfect voice for phone sex but when asked if she'd thought about it, Serena always laughed, shook her head and claimed ' _frequently_ ' to pass off the joke. Now Bernie knew that she was deflecting the attention.

'I needed the money. I set up a few separate accounts to make up for what Edward was spending. He could have bankrupted himself for all I care, as long as his actions didn't throw Ellie and I out in the cold. I took a side-line for a few years. Didn't do business management for nothing, did I?' She joked, lightening the tension between them.

Bernie half smiled. She didn't like the thought of Serena selling herself out of desperation.

'It wasn't a bad job. I was safe on the other end of the phone and they couldn't do anything to me. The owner of the business would sort them out if they got abusive. It just took a lot of late nights and some privacy. I couldn't wait to finish at the end though. Once I'd made enough to cover what I needed with profit, I quit. Nobody knew it was me.'

'You really helped me. I felt safe with you.'

'I'm glad. You seemed like the kind of person I'd like to be friends with. I wanted you to be happy.'

'You were the only one I could tell.'

'I took an interest in a few people who phoned, who had no-one to listen to them. I had to let them go later but you weren't the first or the last. You didn't need to feel ashamed of it either even though I knew why you would be. It's easy to say but a lot of work to try and convince someone otherwise.'

Bernie nodded. She'd come a long way since then.

'Well, now that we know things about each other, we can draw a veil over it, no judgement.' said Serena.

'But I'm glad we talked about it.'

'Do you have someone to talk to?'

Bernie assured her that she didn't need to talk about it anymore.

'Ok. Well if you do need to talk about anything at all, you can call me.'

'Oh?'

'We do work together. You do have my number.'

Serena glanced at Bernie as she walked out. An invitation. Bernie felt a jolt at that. Yes she did have her number. And this time it was real and this time it was an opportunity she could take.


End file.
